I’ve Been Told
By Pader
“My name is Jer!
It is spelt J-E-R. No, the J is not silent. It’s not pronounced, Her, that’s my pronoun. No it isn’t Yer, where’d you get the Y from now?
I am an American. Yes, I am also Asian. I’m not Chinese, I’m not Korean, I’m not Japanese. I am Hmong. My race is not your fetish. My skin is not exotic. We Asians take 60% of this world population if you haven’t noticed.
I am a women.
I’ve been told I’m cute. I’ve been told I am tiny.
You think I haven’t noticed that about myself.
I’ve been told I’m weak. I have been told I am quiet. I have been told I need to be more conservative. Cover up. Yea, no thanks.
I have a voice. I am smart. I can be loud when I want to. I am strong. In my world I wear the pants better than some of these so called “men.”
I am turning 24 years old.
I get to live another year being told who I am. What I get to do. What I need. How I should feel. When and where I should be. No! No. Not last year nor this year. I will be who I want to be. I get to do what I want. I know what I need. I should be where I am. I will not let my feelings get invalidated.
You know this anger I have does not only go towards to the one that killed and hurt those Asian women and elders, but goes to society. It goes to the people of colors, it goes to my community, my friends, my family, my racist parents, and it goes towards me. Especially me.
I’ve been told, I’ve been told, I’ve been told, but I also keep telling myself, this will pass. Just like any others. I tell myself I can’t make a difference. I’m just this small Hmong girl from nowhere. What I do won’t matter. I’ll just get silenced again. Cause no one listens to the small Asian girl in the corner. No. Look where we’re at. We were there on that day for the demonstration. Because those years before was Black Lives Matter. Last year was Stop Asian Hate. What about this year? What will be the next hashtag.
We blame society, when we are the society.
I’ve been told too many times.
I’m tired of being told, being the one listening. Being the one who is suppressed.
So, now I am telling you, stop living in fear, get their attention, and make them listen. Speak yourself!
My name is Jer Pader Yang. I am a 23 Hmong American Women.
Let’s stand together.”
About the Author
Pader (her/she), also known as Jer Yang is a third-year Social Work Major at the Minnesota State University, Mankato. Pader enjoys performing as a dancer and taking the initiative to help her peers as a student leader. When there was a rise of hate crimes and violence towards the AAPI community during the pandemic, Pader wrote this piece called “I’ve Been Told.” As a Hmong woman who has always been told to not speak her mind; Pader wanted to advocate for her peers by using her voice since she was tired of the prejudice. This was her first time ever writing and showcasing a spoken word. She hopes to encourage others to voice their opinions instead of staying quiet during these difficult times.
